Monkey Breath

I have to hurry and do this while my sister is napping. Or before I forget my thought. Because that's really more likely to happen. I think my mom likes me better than my sister. I'm convinced of it. Because she talks to me more than she does Harley. And she calls me more fun things than she calls Harley. I get Lexie Jane, Leximillian, Spaz Ball, Hey, and Dammit. Although that one usually means I've done something wrong. I probably shouldn't admit either of those things. But what is Monkey Breath? And how does she know? Has she spent much time around monkeys? Why wouldn't she just call me dog breath? I am a dog, after all. Does monkey breath stink? If yes, it's her fault. She feeds me and picks out my food and treats. I'm not even allowed to go to the store. Well sometimes I get to go to Home Depot. Or the pet place. But not often enough. We do go outside often, and I get to play in the water. I love the water. Water is awesome. And cold. I think that's what you call it. Well it's only cold sometimes. Not so much in the summer. But then again there's not much water in the summer which I guess is why we go to different parks during the summer. I met a turtle at a park once. Okay I don't know that we really met, but I saw one and barked at it. Barking must be noisy because I do it A LOT. And that's when she tells me to be quiet. A LOT. So then I go sit on her lap and lick her face. It's hard for her to be cranky with me when I make her stop whatever important actual work she's doing to show her how much I love her. And I do. I'm a lucky dog. Wait, where was I going with this? I think I hear Harley. I better go. If she thinks I can do stuff she might ask me to help her with chores. I'll sneak back later. Except I don't think I'm very good at sneaking. I'm a little too hyper and vocal for that. Whatever. It's part of my charm. When is that guy coming back to visit? Even though he makes me not jump and tells me to get off the sofa. Okay now I really have to go. There's a fence post to bark at. Wag wag wag wag wag wag wag lick lick - Lexie