Monkey Breath

I have to hurry and do this while my sister is napping. Or before I forget my thought. Because that's really more likely to happen. I think my mom likes me better than my sister. I'm convinced of it. Because she talks to me more than she does Harley. And she calls me more fun things than she calls Harley. I get Lexie Jane, Leximillian, Spaz Ball, Hey, and Dammit. Although that one usually means I've done something wrong. I probably shouldn't admit either of those things. But what is Monkey Breath? And how does she know? Has she spent much time around monkeys? Why wouldn't she just call me dog breath? I am a dog, after all. Does monkey breath stink? If yes, it's her fault. She feeds me and picks out my food and treats. I'm not even allowed to go to the store. Well sometimes I get to go to Home Depot. Or the pet place. But not often enough. We do go outside often, and I get to play in the water. I love the water. Water is awesome. And cold. I think that's what you call it. Well it's only cold sometimes. Not so much in the summer. But then again there's not much water in the summer which I guess is why we go to different parks during the summer. I met a turtle at a park once. Okay I don't know that we really met, but I saw one and barked at it. Barking must be noisy because I do it A LOT. And that's when she tells me to be quiet. A LOT. So then I go sit on her lap and lick her face. It's hard for her to be cranky with me when I make her stop whatever important actual work she's doing to show her how much I love her. And I do. I'm a lucky dog. Wait, where was I going with this? I think I hear Harley. I better go. If she thinks I can do stuff she might ask me to help her with chores. I'll sneak back later. Except I don't think I'm very good at sneaking. I'm a little too hyper and vocal for that. Whatever. It's part of my charm. When is that guy coming back to visit? Even though he makes me not jump and tells me to get off the sofa. Okay now I really have to go. There's a fence post to bark at. Wag wag wag wag wag wag wag lick lick - Lexie

Really? Again?? Already?!

We JUST got home, I mean back to our home, when some other dude showed up.

Mom was supposed to be home Monday afternoon and come get us from auntie Barbara's, but something about the airlines blah blah wah wah and she couldn't find anyone to come get us and forgot to leave a key out front and yada yada and then we were with our new sitter for another night. Well, her and some really small dog with buggy eyes. Sweet, and older and chill like me. But still, the whole sharing attention thing... (I don't understand everything mom said the next day when she picked us up but she looked really tired and apparently had no toiletries and concealer so maybe I shouldn't give her too much grief. Something about the airlines losing luggage? But I digress.)

So she gets a panicked email from somebody and then Sawyer shows back up last night. He's a nice kid, I guess. Young, waaay toooo full of energy. Fortunately he's sweet. And then Lou is here today, just for the day. And then again tomorrow. And then again Friday. I guess his dad is traveling and his mom works away from home and they don't like him to be cooped up in the apartment all day. Makes sense. Guess not everyone has a dog door into their backyard. And a mom who works from home. I live a charmed life. Except for these other invaders into my space. They're really not that bad but don't tell my mom I'm actually okay with it. I like it when she tries to make it up to me.

Something called a Cappie arrives tonight. What is it with people not planning in advance? Anyhoo... he's a labradoodle, she says, and young - only 6 months - but I've tolerated labradoodles here before so maybe he'll be okay. Hopefully he and Sawyer will get along and they'll play and leave me alone. Naps are not to be interrupted. The queen needs her beauty rest. Ok, I don't really need it... I just like it.

So yeah, I got like 7 hours of my mom. And now them. Wish me luck.

Wags and licks.

- HMP

srsly?

What is my human up to now? I thought if I snored loudly enough and chewed on enough things I shouldn't, that she wouldn't bring any more dogs into the house.

But no, not her. Canine lover.

Otis the basset hound goes home tomorrow. He's been here for almost 3 weeks while his humans got married and went to play at the beach. I like to play at the beach. In fact, I used to play there often when we lived in San Diego. But then she moved back to Texas and crammed me into a car for 2 1/2 days. I guess I like Texas okay. But it sure gets hot here. I don't know when we'll have more guests. Maybe not until Roux comes back next month. He's cute. For a dog.

Did I tell you that she rescued a fur ball who had been badly abused? I guess in all honesty it was my fault. I went over to her and tried to lick her. I liked the little spaz, because she wasn't much of a spaz when she was too injured to walk. But she's made up for it since then. I think this month is her five-year gotcha-versary with us. She's a real nuisance some times, and she nags. And barks. Loudly. But she knows I'm the boss. Her name is Lexie.

My name is Harley. I'm a beautiful pure bred beagle. And really that's all you need to know. This is my blog. My story. My world.

Welcome to it.

I'll be back later. I've got scents to chase in my dreams.

Wag, wag, lick, lick. Aroo.